What Junior Colleges Teach Students

1. HOW TO LIE

- The perfect lie can be obtained only if the teachers and the students are in perfect synchrony, and thus can tell the Student Right Activists that they are being taught incomplete Intermediate first year (Grade 11) portion, although the blackboard clearly has a diagram of the anatomy of a rabbit- taught only in the second year of Intermediate(Grade 12).

2. HOW TO BE HAPPY IN NOT-SO-HAPPY CIRCUMSTANCES

- When a student who performs well in tests falls ill, the rest of the class must rejoice and think of the lack of competition they shall face in the tests that that particular student is not writing.

3. HOW TO KILL YOUR CREATIVITY WHILE WRITING ANSWERS

- All answers must be exactly the same. Any deviation from the answer printed in the prescribed book published by the institute itself, shall lead to deduction of marks, even if there is no apparent or logical reason for the loss in marks.

This ensures that all students think in the same level and do not overly use their mouldy minds!

4. HOW TO DEPRESS THE ENTHUSIASTIC SOUL

- All students who are enthusiastic to learn must face hours of monotonous lectures about how they "shall fail unless they work hard, and how failures plunge the hopes of their parents into a deep sea of sadness". This forcing them to lose all enthusiasm and develop a disinterest in their education, and eventually life itself.

5. FACTS ABOUT PARENTS WE DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE

- It is clearly taught to all students that even one failure can make their parents rethink their decision to bring up that child, and they shall eventually want to disown the failure. The colleges explain to the students that parents have tremendous expectations, and would not mind giving up the child if he/she does not show any brilliance or talents. Thus, parental love is not 'unconditional'.

6. HOW TO REACH FOR INNER BRILLIANCE

- Inner Brilliance can be discovered by one, and only one method- the "study till you drop" plan. All students are advised to spend at least 21 hours a day studying and thinking about their approaching exam. reorganizing daily schedules to obtain 21 'study-able' hours is explained in the following point.

7. HOW TO REORGANIZE YOUR TIME

Students are told that sleeping, eating, and even bathing are a "waste of time". Thus, these activities are to be avoided or organized such that they consume the least amount of time possible. Taking these activities into consideration, it has been found that a student is left with a 'minimum' of 21 hours what must be fully utilized to study.

8. HOW TO DISTANCE FRIENDS

- Students are told that any help -general or academic, rendered to a fellow classmate shall make the aider lose valuable time, and make the one who has been helped superior as he/she shall have tired the aider out, lessening their chances of proper future study. Thus, helping comrades is highly discouraged and looked down upon.

9. THE UNIMPORTANCE OF PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

- It is a complete "waste of time" to develop one's hobbies or spend time on creative activities as the brain loses focus of the main goal, which of course is to get a 'Rank' and get the highest score possible. A Person's character can only be developed if he/she is properly utilizing available resources (which of course, are minimal) and spending endless hours learning the same things... again... and again... and again........

10. HOW TO 'CHANGE THE WORLD'

- The World can be changed only if students perform, obtain a 'Rank' and recruit more students to these colleges so that the college can earn more, and the student shall feel like he/she has changed a life (in a negative way, of course).... and in extension, changing the world!