Once in a hundred years

I woke up as usual this morning, my brother screaming "Wake up! Wake up", from the bottom of the stair case. I stretched a little bit, rubbed my eyes. I wanted to sleep longer, but I dragged myself out of bed, scrambled towards my cellphone that I leave far away from me.

"5 new messages" it read, between last night when I checked last, and now. A smile struck my face. I like the feeling when i find messages waiting to be read. I opened my inbox, and sleepily read them all. All talking about the date- 10. 10. 10.

I have to admit, I'm guilty of getting a kick out of finding a pattern in the time or date, and I was definitely excited. But I didn't feel any particuliar difference, neither did I look unusual, or find anything out of the ordinary.

And yet, the papers had pages about the date, the effect of the heavenly bodies on the mortals on this day, predictions about the life of those born today, mass weddings across the globe, what to do, what not!
This particuliar date was incredibly conspicuous.

"We won't witness it again for another hundred years". These words were obvious, but they struck me all the same. How many of us are going to live to actually see another '10.10.10'?

But then, what's the big deal about not witnessing one either?
What if it was just a way for us present habitants of the planet to feel good and look forward to something.

Not witnessing a '10.10.10' is not going to harm us, not going to particularly affect us in any way. I thought of the people who didn't know, and the tribes in dense forests, far from civilization. A handful  may be bothered about the alignment of the stars or the planets, but this won't strike them at all if they don't know about it!
It's going to be just like any other day.

Then the hundreds of couples tying the knot today. Next year, they'll be saying to each other "Happy Anniversary to you both", and getting a "To the both of you too!" as a reply! To them, this date will mean pretty much everything.

Some people started new ventures, planned this day to absorb all it's 'positivity' to the maximum. Tried to extract every second of it with some or the other fruitful work.

But there are a lucky few, who have no idea about this special date, but are trying to do something unique or powerful anyways.

Because after all, this date will be enjoyed "once in a hundred years", but every single day we live is once in a life time!

"What Are You Studying?"

Whether we reply “Intermediate” or “Class 11” to the routine question of “What are you studying”, the most obvious next question is “What subjects did you choose?”

What is funny about the question is that we don’t actually choose.

There are usually three or more ‘branches’ or ‘streams’ that one has to pick after being dropped into the world of pre-adulthood, after school.  And for most, the branch is predefined years before coming of age; by others who are uncertain about holding you tight when you are about to fall.

If you reply “Sciences”, your enquirer may reply “oh! Doctor!”

Say “Mathematics” and you get a matter-of-fact statement- “Engineer”.

Even “Commerce” is not left untouched by bias, with a reply of “Accountant” coming your way.

Any other reply, and you may have a longer, more imaginative conversation, where you’d have to explain the subjects and your future plans.

But honestly, are three or maybe four main subjects really giving us flexibility?

Once you’re on one of these roads, it’s incredibly hard to turn back.

“I hate the subjects I am studying. I want to just do arts.”

“I feel so wasted. I was forced to do these subjects, because my parents believe I am ‘unsuited’ to study hard enough to become a doctor.”

Ask any one our age, they’ve heard a number of their friends, and classmates saying something like this. They were left mute on the plans of their own future.

Some may wonder, how anyone really knows if someone can or cannot do something. But no two stories are ever truly alike.

“I am studying BiPC, but I want to learn mathematics” one of my friends told me on the day of our Zoology exam. Her grandfather seemed extremely distressed, as it was the final and she openly declared her lack of interest in the subject.

“Make her see sense! It’s too late now! She’ll have to do the year again to do math!” he told me, with desperation in his eyes. “She was the one who chose to study science in the first place.” She lived with her grandparents, and her parents were in another country all together. I could imagine the words they are likely to listen to from their child and his wife, as they were her ‘caretakers’ and were supposed to guide her. I could also imagine the thoughts in their head, starting with “A wasted year” or “What if she doesn’t like that either?”

Although she was given the ‘freedom’ to choose, it was a hard decision for her, and she was obviously too young to make a choice. “I like math, and botany, but I can’t tolerate the other subjects”, she told me. “I’ll do just math, as I can’t do both”, with a rather bleak expression on her face. This unconventional combination of subjects isn’t available in our state in a majority of colleges. And anyone who would choose these subjects would probably have to pacify a swarm of unhappy relatives wondering about the prospects of a career after such a pursuit in education.  But the choice in careers is also endless, and new arenas open every day with the development in technology, communication and research.

We should be able to choose more than the number of subjects we can now.

Were the syllabus slightly non-detailed in the un-necessary areas, then we could accommodate the increase in the number of subjects, without worrying about the increase in work load.  Prioritizing the topics to accommodate more ‘neutral’ ones where anyone who may not or may pursue a career directly related to it will feel like it is worth learning.  Or maybe actually adapting a couple of the methods used in the west. After all, we try to adopt and adapt just about everything, but somehow don’t think their educational system deserves the flattery?

Change is never easy, and if Kapil Sibal were to suggest these massive changes, he will face far more criticism than ever before, but also impress and gain the hearts of many more.

The long awaited “right to education” bill has finally been passed. But there’s always room for more refinement in the system.

If a child can choose subjects he/she likes, along with maybe a few suggested by the parents (they will have their say, of course), then at least the interest in education won’t be drained, and the choice is far more than it ever were before. There are so many courses available, so many professions waiting to be recognized and so many lives that can be changed.

We were all born free. But most of us don’t have the power to chose the things we’re supposed to set our lives to and we’re victim to others, or just the lack of choice.

And if you can’t make a choice, then you’re deprived of your fundamental right. The right to chose. To be free. To be one self.

  

Free?

Independence day- Images of flags, happiness, pride, patriotism, independence. 
Our country has come a long way from the days when some one, someone else told us what we could and couldn't do. Or did we?
Our external demons may have been scared away, but what do we do about the ones from the inside?

We have the media to tell us what to wear, and what to not. We have hatred and prejudices that are in-filterable flowing through our blood. We have people wanting other people dead. We have confusion, we  have divisions, we have problems, and we are not free.

We've been facing division based on regions and origin for over 6 decades from the time of freedom of foreign rule, and no one questions it. We've been told that India is divided into the 'North' and the 'South'. This isn't what the drafters of our constitution had in mind. We've just given ourselves further to the oh-so-popular 'Divide and Rule' strategy improvised by the British, except presently, the only thing that's got a chance of 'ruling' us that way is Bias and Prejudice!

We've seen how some of the aristocrats crudely take advantage of their positions and go on promoting themselves and family, ignoring the rest of us. Unjustified!

We've seen how money can convince anyone to do just about anything. Slavery!

We've seen how women are treated, how they are suppressed and chained by expectations, and restraints. And the constitution guarantees equality of the sexes! Half the ruling heads are merely plaster saints!

We've seen how children are being robbed of their right to play freely. Robbed of their childhood, robbed of the joys they so well deserve. We see them labour. We see them being brainwashed. We see them for what they must not be. A crying shame!

We've seen how the numbers continue to exponentially increase, unless there's mass disease. Can't a roof be placed without a loss?

We've seen the injustice, the pain, the pressure, the problems, but we shudder and say "They're too big to be solved anyways. It's useless". So now we see lethargy and insensitivity as well!

The flight towards freedom was never easy, with turbulence and trouble along the way, but the final destination touches paradise, and it's a prize worth fighting for.

India gained it's independence 63 years ago on the zero hour of this very day, but how long for the people to be free?

Looks like Lady Green can hold this slab up

I took this picture today, in ICRISAT, outside the 'Palace/shelter/hunting spot'.

I really like it. 

"A Romantic at Heart and Plumage"

A peacock is romantic at heart, wishing to woo, and surely, he is admired by not just hens, but living beings of many kinds.

I drew this for my Uncle, who is the most romantic person I've ever met!

Not only is he extremely loving of everyone, he is a role model of righteousness.

(This work is color pencil on paper)

Promoting Alternate Sources Of Energy

In Accord With The Universe

My new slightly abstract piece of art talks about mutual influence. The thick skinned apple may appear like it is unaffected by the atmosphere, and yet it is...(Seen by the yellow and blue blotches common to both the apple and the surroundings.) Similiarly, the apple (representative of any object, living or non-living) affects and influences it's surroundings (seen by the red blotches in the surroundings that are symbolic of coming from the apple.)
When the apple is sliced, it is more 'open' and receptive, as it's skin, and also it's shield, ego, mask etc, is covering only a portion of it, and not the whole. So, the slice as seen on the right is far more 'affected' by the surroundings, (in reality, the darkening of the apple as it's iron get's oxidized) and hence attracts more of the yellow (and eventually the blue) elements from it's surroundings...
People, to some extent are like this apple, and we are constantly interacting with our environment and surroundings. We pick up the negative vibes, and the positive vibes, and we also influence the surroundings with the energies we give off...


*P.S. Sorry about the bad photography. The reflection of the flash in the middle messes with the perception and depth.
Size of painting is approximately 14x14.5 cm.

Happiness is Like Water

Happiness is like water,

It cannot be caught between your fingers,

And quickly slips through,

Despite your desperate attempts

To catch hold of it, and keep it.

Happiness is like water,

And before it is lost beyond recapture

Pour onto a seed, like an elixir.

The seed needs it,

And will bless you for it.

Happiness is like water,

And as you give it to a seed,

Giving it a new life,    

It gives you fruits,

As a way of repayment,

Fruits are the least expected

And sweetest of joys!


*Note: Art media: Oil Pastel and Pencil.

The Symbol of Love Gets It’s Share of Love

A rose, the “symbol of love”

Is smelt fondly by the happy lover,

Content by the love she receives,

A tender show of her acceptance.

But the rose feels no love, for being itself.

A rose, the “symbol of love”

Is held between the teeth by a lover

Passionate, as he holds his lover by the waist

And they move to the rhythm, as they dance.

Still, the rose feels no love for who it is.

A rose, the “symbol of love”

Is subject to abuse by the unsure lover,

As she plucks each petal and wonders

About her future with her love, together.

And the rose feels no love at all.

A rose, the “symbol of love”

Gets it’s own and only taste of true love

When it is a part of it’s shrub

A bud, or in full bloom, irrelevant.

With the lover and provider of it’s life

It feels truly cared for…. 

My Red Monster Truck

It was the twenty fifth of December, and I was just about two weeks older than five. The cartoons on TV talked about Christmas, and we were given ten holidays from school for it. I woke up, not really expecting any present, but thrilled anyways that it was Christmas and I’d get to sing all my favorite carols with my mother and spend the day at home doing what ever I wanted.

But there it was, a box, about a cubic foot in size, covered in silver wrapping paper.

“Merry Christmas Darling,

From your Secret Santa”

I was so excited! The fact that I didn’t know who it was really from added to the surprise. I felt special and I loved the feeling of having my very own ‘Santa Claus’ as after all it said “Your Secret Santa”. It surely wasn’t the Santa Claus who lived at the North Pole!

With full enthusiasm, I slowly opened the present, careful not to tear the wrapper, as I wanted to preserve it, a ritual I follow for all my presents, even to this date.  There it was, a box covered with a picture of a red monster truck. My very own remote-controlled monster truck, which was red, a colour I didn’t fancy too much then, but today I’d have to admit, it is one of my favourite colours.

I was unsure. It was definitely something I hadn’t expected. And I’m pretty sure any toy store wouldn’t suggest a ‘monster truck’ for a five-year-old girl. It did seem a little strange, but then again, I was never much of a ‘girly’ girl.  And sure enough, as my Secret Santa might have secretly predicted, I grew extremely attached to the monster truck.

The fact that I had gotten a gift, not conventionally given to girls, of a monster truck told me, at the tender age of five, that there needn’t be much of a difference between the sexes. I could do exactly what I wanted, and needn’t put myself under the leash of expectations that are put on every girl.

The large wheels of the truck, something that fascinated me as they were in no comparable proportion to the size of wheels I saw on cars around me, told me that I could dream any size and irrelevant of how odd they may seem, they can still drive me.

The fact that it could tread any sort of surface, including a track I specially made by sticking pencils and pens to the floor, making an uneven surface; told me that no path is too hard to be crossed if you really want to move ahead.

The large wheels, the small seating space for just two people and the bright colour told me that nothing had to fit any one else’s idea of perfection, and what matters is what you think of yourself.

Sure, at the age of five, this little remote controlled toy meant the world to me. I treasured it more than most of my Barbie dolls, or other play sets. I spent many hours taking it apart with a screw driver, and putting it all back together just to feel the thrill of believing that I knew how it worked. But still, it remained untarnished in my hands for years.

Two and a half years after my ‘Secret Santa’ had given me the moster truck (sure, I got a lot of other presents from him in the meantime, but this one was beyond just special), my younger brother was born and a couple of years later, I handed over my treasure to him (I had no intention of  ‘completely’ handing it over, more like ‘sharing’ it). He loved it like I did, but sadly one day, it broke apart, about five years after I first saw it.

If I said that I didn’t mind, I’d be lying. In fact, I threw quite a tantrum and almost refused to part with the broken pieces. My parents comforted me and said, that it didn’t matter, it was too old anyways, and instead, I should look forward to a ride in a monster truck when I grew up. The idea appealed to me immensely and I made up my mind. When I grow up, I would own a monster truck.

I don’t know how close I am, or probably ever will be to actually owning a monster truck, but I sure would love to- a bright red one, to be precise.

And another thing, my ‘Secret Santa’ was my Dad.  I still don’t really know whether it was his intuition that made him choose a ‘remote controlled monster truck’ for his five year old daughter, or just some confused toy sales executive who was very convincing, but I sure am glad I got that truck that one Christmas.

 It told me I could dream.

Poems for National Poetry Fest '09

I wrote these poems over a year ago, which were accepted for the National Poetry Fest, and published in an anthology of poems - "A Posy of Poesy" which even had international contributors. I was the youngest to attend the meet at Guntur in July 2009 and presented my poems which were well accepted. :)

‘Lessons’, by the fields

As we stood near the edge, staring at the fields,

My father said “Look at them, they are also my children, and parents.

In the Future, they shall be yours my son,

To foster, and care for, as we do you, and they do us.

“Learn every pattern, learn every colour.

Learn how to read each crop and tree.

Learn how to foretell rain, or a perfect time to harvest.

Learn all these vital things from me”

Ten years in age, I stood next to father there.

As he told me of the knowledge I needed to bear,

I wondered how I could learn all these things

If I was capable of taking care of my ‘family’.

What if I don’t do things right?

What if I don’t have enough power or might?

What if I don’t take proper care of them?

Or I am irresponsible? Father wouldn’t be pleased.

Smiling Knowingly, Father said:

“Son, you can do it, I know you can

These are also the ‘fields of life’

And you will grow, if you want, into a capable MAN”

The Purest Being of All

She is gentle and kind, with an eternal smile.

She never shows anger, hate or fear.

She is patient. The most blessed one.

With no greed, she uses only what she needs

From her, we should learn to share, to be selfless.

She gives to all, but rarely takes.

She never shouts, whines or curses.

But we can see her everlasting bruises.

As she never fights, never angers,

She is ‘perfect’, and thus bears all of mankind’s lashes.

She never seeks revenge for all her pains.

The purest one, she leads to only others gains.

She isn’t a woman, a fish, a bird,

A many-legged insect, a rat, a toad.

What she is- we all ignore,

But I salute you

O Noble Tree!

Unless

Unless you've felt pain,

How will you know

The value of anything that gives pleasure?

Unless you've hated somebody,

How will you ever know

The actual feeling of unconditionally loving someone?

Unless you've been rejected,

How will you know

The prize of acceptance?

Unless you feel guilty yourself,

How will you know

The value of someone else's apology?

Unless you've had the world point fingers

At you, leaving you in doubt with yourself,

How will you know the power of trusting yourself?

Unless you've had tears on your cheeks,

How will you know

How good they feel when you smile?

Unless you've been unjustly called names,

How wouldn't you think

Twice before calling another?

Unless your pride was hurt,

How else would you have realized

That you should prove to the world,

What you are, and what you can be?

Unless you've hurt someone,

How will you know how truly happy

You feel when you lighten up their face?

Unless you've let someone down,

How will you learn that expectations are

Merely for you to strive harder, and

Reach for the unlimited streams of your potential

And not to burden you?

Don't spurn the stones on your path,

The ones which really just push you forward;

Because by the end, they'd have followed you around,

And added up to make a castle around you!

Starring in a Horror Movie leaves Kids Scarred

A common trend among teenager, and adults alike is to watch horror flicks and see who's got the "most guts"! The truth however, is those starring in the film are the bravest as they have to physically face the situations in the movie that leave the audience gripping their chairs in anticipation of the next scene, emotions balancing between scared and curious.

But, if the cast may be slightly weak hearted, they could actually associate the scene and the sets and basically scare the hell out of themselves. This is rarely the case with adults, but what about children?

Most horror movies and psychological thrillers have children set as either those who are haunted or those who haunt. This is a really convenient set up for the director and producer- Children can easily act scared, or really be scared, and their realistic expressions captured on the camera exaggerate the power of the opposing 'evil force'.

Not to mention, in some stories, the fact that it's the helpless children who are being targeted by the 'evil force' make the story line more cold-hearted, implying the power of the 'evil' to be indiscrete in selecting victims.

And in other scripts, it's the children, generally believed to be 'innocent' who are either 'possessed' or somehow develop inherent evil, and go on a unemotional heartless spree.

But the children who act in these scenes- are they mature enough to decide that these scenes they are filming are not true? For the general population of kids, horror films usually cause psychological effects like anxiety, fears, obsession and nightmares. Most of them tend to avoid similiar situations in their own lives, as they associate the stimulus of fear with that situation. For example, if a child watches a scene depicting, say a 'monster' coming out of a pit in a forest, the child will generally associate any pit in a forest, with a 'monster'. So, it is perfectly understandable, that the child will prefer to avoid pits in forests.

But for the children who act in these films, they have to face the scene physically, i.e. be present in the scene along with the other character that they have to run away from. So, they do not really have avoidance as an option. They cannot run away from the scene as it is part of their job contract. Some of them face harsher psychological problems, and in severe cases, it gets harder to get back to living a normal phobia-free life.

All the money earned from acting in such a movie goes to the child's parents, and is given to the child only when he/she has officially attained adulthood. Doesn't this make parents responsible for the side-effects of starring in such flicks? What kind of a parent would knowingly hurt their child, or make them endure pointless hardships?

And yet, there is a large amount of enthusiasm in parents, especially in our country, to have their children acting, inconsiderate of the genre of the movie.

What can be done to avoid scarring these children? Prohibition of the casting of children in horror movies is of course, a good prospect, but maybe too drastic a change for the film industry. If perhaps the scenes were to be designed taking the age and sensitivity of the child into consideration, it might prevent any future phobias. And for the flicks where children are centered as main characters, maybe advanced 3D animation techniques could be useful?

This is now a common trend in some countries, but not in India. But isn't it about time?

The Internet Bride

Hours spent rechecking for a message

staring at the webpage.

'No new mail' it says

but she clicks on 'Inbox' anyways.

What if they sent it, but she didn't get it?

What if she didn't sent it right?

What if it was lost on the net, or might

have been dismissed as 'junk'?

What if they are trying to reach

Her, as she was trying for them?

Should she resend it? Or will they

think of her as impatient?

Agitated, she bites her lip

Thinking of what to do

Was she refused?

She encloses herself with fears.

Her thoughts hurt her.

But quickly she settles herself to get

an apology from them who she believed

shattered her self esteem

Now her eyes narrowed

as she tried to create an outline-

how to confront them and

show that she was worthwhile

She checked for more details

about them, she needed these

To show them what they really

needed, and how she was it!

As she explored, she remembered

she had another e-mail account-

her first, but now very rarely used...

And lo! There it was-

"1 new message"!

It's time I said Goodbye

Thank you for being there.
You were with me, when I was alone.
And I felt hurt; when a single ray
or sunshine or hope never shone.

You made me feel alive,
when I felt like I was dead.
When I couldn't get over anything
that happened before, or was said.

You were there, and never left.
You saw me bring myself down
till I was low, almost beyond repair,
and it's true, i tried so hard to smile.

Nobody knew I was afraid.
or hurt, or sad. And every night,
before on a soft pillow, my distressed head laid,
I'd have you, and only you for company.

You never left me. Oh no.
You were the only one in my heart,
stopping me from any love i could show
on any other being.

But now it's time we set ourselves apart
and you leave your chamber in my heart,
that I let you leave scars in, and poison.
I won't forget you, sadly, even if i wanted to.

But oh! It's time I left the past, and you with it.
It's time that I don't welcome you
with open arms when you knock on my door.
It's time I lived without you.

I thank you for being there, but the deal is done
and you've left me with wounds undone.
Please don't remind me, just let it be.
Hopefully, a future devoid of you, I'll see.

A while ago, I restarted my life again,
And made new choices and did new things.
But you came as flashes, maybe you're
feeling rejected. I'm sorry i can't be by your side
the way you were by mine,
But I guess now you'll have felt what i did,
And you will experience yourself as you are- PAIN.

What Junior Colleges Teach Students

1. HOW TO LIE

- The perfect lie can be obtained only if the teachers and the students are in perfect synchrony, and thus can tell the Student Right Activists that they are being taught incomplete Intermediate first year (Grade 11) portion, although the blackboard clearly has a diagram of the anatomy of a rabbit- taught only in the second year of Intermediate(Grade 12).

2. HOW TO BE HAPPY IN NOT-SO-HAPPY CIRCUMSTANCES

- When a student who performs well in tests falls ill, the rest of the class must rejoice and think of the lack of competition they shall face in the tests that that particular student is not writing.

3. HOW TO KILL YOUR CREATIVITY WHILE WRITING ANSWERS

- All answers must be exactly the same. Any deviation from the answer printed in the prescribed book published by the institute itself, shall lead to deduction of marks, even if there is no apparent or logical reason for the loss in marks.

This ensures that all students think in the same level and do not overly use their mouldy minds!

4. HOW TO DEPRESS THE ENTHUSIASTIC SOUL

- All students who are enthusiastic to learn must face hours of monotonous lectures about how they "shall fail unless they work hard, and how failures plunge the hopes of their parents into a deep sea of sadness". This forcing them to lose all enthusiasm and develop a disinterest in their education, and eventually life itself.

5. FACTS ABOUT PARENTS WE DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE

- It is clearly taught to all students that even one failure can make their parents rethink their decision to bring up that child, and they shall eventually want to disown the failure. The colleges explain to the students that parents have tremendous expectations, and would not mind giving up the child if he/she does not show any brilliance or talents. Thus, parental love is not 'unconditional'.

6. HOW TO REACH FOR INNER BRILLIANCE

- Inner Brilliance can be discovered by one, and only one method- the "study till you drop" plan. All students are advised to spend at least 21 hours a day studying and thinking about their approaching exam. reorganizing daily schedules to obtain 21 'study-able' hours is explained in the following point.

7. HOW TO REORGANIZE YOUR TIME

Students are told that sleeping, eating, and even bathing are a "waste of time". Thus, these activities are to be avoided or organized such that they consume the least amount of time possible. Taking these activities into consideration, it has been found that a student is left with a 'minimum' of 21 hours what must be fully utilized to study.

8. HOW TO DISTANCE FRIENDS

- Students are told that any help -general or academic, rendered to a fellow classmate shall make the aider lose valuable time, and make the one who has been helped superior as he/she shall have tired the aider out, lessening their chances of proper future study. Thus, helping comrades is highly discouraged and looked down upon.

9. THE UNIMPORTANCE OF PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

- It is a complete "waste of time" to develop one's hobbies or spend time on creative activities as the brain loses focus of the main goal, which of course is to get a 'Rank' and get the highest score possible. A Person's character can only be developed if he/she is properly utilizing available resources (which of course, are minimal) and spending endless hours learning the same things... again... and again... and again........

10. HOW TO 'CHANGE THE WORLD'

- The World can be changed only if students perform, obtain a 'Rank' and recruit more students to these colleges so that the college can earn more, and the student shall feel like he/she has changed a life (in a negative way, of course).... and in extension, changing the world!

"Let him be, he's only picking on you 'cause...."

The other day, I was talking to one of my friends, initially about general topics and slowly we began talking about relationships. "Everyone knows that if a boy likes a girl, he'll make fun of her" he remarked.

I was shocked! So it was true... The confusing line told to all little girls- "Let him be, he's only picking on you 'cause he likes you!". I couldn't believe it! My entire life till then, I ignored it- I thought it was a little joke, or maybe just a way to make girls display more 'submissive' behavior, to become 'ideal'...

Then I got thinking. While in the west, chivalry is looked up to and thought of as a way of showing respect, we still have parts in our country where a man is considered to be rather 'unmanly' if he helps his wife or say, volunteers to do house hold chores, which are still considered to be the 'women's jobs'.

And so, the social concepts arise where boys believe that they have to be tough, and should 'pick on' the girl to show his affection. The girls are raised to believe that it's all right, feeding on the so-called 'security' that if he teases her, he likes her, and maybe prefers her over other girls- a type of 'flattery'!

Well, what if he turns abusive? Who is to be blamed if the boy who was told his entire life to "make fun of her" begins to hurt her emotionally, mentally, and even physically after their relationship becomes 'more serious'? Is it right to say "but that's just a way of showing my love for you" when she questions his harassment?

According to the UN, over 70% of married Indian women face abuse and domestic violence, sometimes even on a daily basis, and only a tiny fraction have the courage to open up about it.

Numerous acts have been passed, and after decades, Indian women have been given the rights they so justly deserve. And yet, the men rarely change, and the women remain quiet, unable to pull together the nerve to say anything about it.

Is this fear in these women only because they were always told to be docile, and tolerant, as "he only means to say he loves you"? Because they believe that his abuse is some strange show of fondness, in a complex morph that they know they will never be able to decipher...

After all, "Let him be, he's only picking on you 'cause he likes you!".

But is it really a fair excuse to leave the situation be?

And is it fair that some men who really show tenderness are dismissed as "not masculine"?